Conor isn't fifteen any more. He isn't even 30, and he sees a little nervous, looking at me with anything but pleasure, from underneath his fringe. "Look," the hearthrob says, sticking a finger towards me, likehe is iIndies answer to Rick Santorum. "I don't have to justify myself to any one. I have worked in an indie graveyard for decades and while I've enjoyed it, enough is enough.
"I have no health insurance, I have no savings. I want the swimming pool in the backyard, I want the Ferrari and I want an organization behind me that know how to market it to me. And I won't be judged by the likes of you… or any one else."
The reason for the outburst was Conor Oberst, the crowned King Of Indie rock and hearthrob for college girls around the world, springing on me the news that he will no longer record for the label he part owns Saddle Creek, but exclusively and will only record with the other members of Bright Eyes if they also sign with Universal Music.
While Conor is reluctant to discuss the details of the deal, I called a friend of mine at UMUS after the interview who claimed it was a 5 album, $10M advance, including touring, merchandizing and apps.
Conor takes a sip of tea and calms himself. "There are many things I can do with money. I can support causes I believe in, I can go to the Doctor for a physical… I CAN LIVE the life I deserve. I am not a money head, I have never chased the almighty dollar. I hate money, but money is the final arbitrator of taste, much more than you…" Conor searches for the right epithet, "Bloggers, who I NEVER READ, opinions are. Nobody cares what you think… but they will notice this."
With which, Conor throws the rest of the tea in my face, snarls "Happy April Fools day, sucker" and storms out of the UMUS meeting room.
I see, I was extremely prolific last night! But don’t project your Conor Oberst phantasms on me!!