Of all the great things about running a music blog, one of the worst is the huge amounts of bad music I have to listen to. Pre-rock nyc, I would take one look at singer songwriter Kari Jobe and, much as I would do in the real world, would run for the hills.
To claim she is irritating is to state the self-evident, to claim her high soprano has a built in twinge is there for your ears to hear, but to have to face these terrible, terrible songs of worship… it is scary. Horrible. Makes my skin crawl. I have a song on my February playlist and I can't hit next fast enough.
There is something so intensely creepy (not to mention lousy) aboutKari's songs of faith that come across like unrequited love songs. There is something, not sexual, but stalky in her.
She puts me in a truly terrible mood. I wanna to inflict pain on her. I can't listen to her Where I Found You without wanting to hurt people. She is the devil's spawn.
As it happens, I've been suffering through Tim McGraw's diabolic "Touchdown Jesus". "I dusted off my Bible today…" he begins and I begin getting a terrible headache. He is The Tebow of stupidity, This is an epic horrorshow of faith. Even our resident Christian Helen would blanche at this -though I think both of us would forgive him if his songs weren't so bad. By the way, if you thinkI'm hating on Christianity you don't read rock nyc. I am a huge (well, biggieish) Gospel fan.
Whereas Kari thinks JC is her personal dating service, Tim thinks JC is suiting up for the Superbowl. Not only is the metaphor an embarrassment, there is always the self-evident truth that every time something goes right, it isn't the hand of Christ. Here is a verse from "Touchdown Jesus".
"there was a little girl just down the street
they were praying for a miracle but running out of hope
some stranger was an angel and gave her what she needs
you ought to see her today, that was ten years ago
touchdown Jesus".
Not only does this sound AWFUL,it is complete and utter dribble.
1, It is blatantly untrue
2. His descriptive eye is non existent and
3. What if this girl got drunk and killed an entire family in a car crash? Where would that leave Jesus's touchdown???
I can't bear this kind of thinking. It is so lazy, it is such crap. You can't predict the future. You don't know what s good or bad in this world. It doesn't work that way. We don't know the results of our actions.
Divine intervention is stuff a fluffy brained bible thumping country bumpkin multi-millionaire has NO CLUE ABOUT.
But McGraw is so bad I can't stand it, my knee shakes and I have to walk around.
Incidentally, just to be crystal clear, one of my fave albums of the year is Craig Finn's new one. A deeply Christian album.
I was stuck in a crowded train a couple of years ago when a current at the time Smashing Pumpkins song came on my IPod. And I couldn't move to rid myself off the pestilence. I swear I thought I was gonna throw up. He just kept whining for 9 minutes. Sheer hell. because Hell is bad music. Every time you miss out on Tim McGraw, guess what? Touchdown Jesus.
You OBVIOUSLY aren’t a true Christian. Kari has SO MUCH anointing on her where you can just feel the Holy Spirit every time she sings. Calling her the “spawn of Satan” is extremely retarded. The “spawn of Satan” would not be. WORSHIP SINGER THAT LOVES AND LIVES FOR JESUS CHRIST. You are so ignorant it MAKES ME SICK.
How nice of you to cast judgement! You MUST be a true Christain!! How dare you question my faith because of my disgust for a painted trollop singing about a God who blesses her trailer and her pappy. As I said before.. lousy music is lousy music be it about Jesus or Pineapples. Now you go worship as you see fit and I will file your response under-tone deaf. Amen.
Walt, thank you for such a great response. Seems far too easy to get defensive and lose clarity when it comes to ‘faith’ and ‘Christian’ thought.
Horrible music is horrible music no matter what the topic. Anyone who thinks just singing about the Lord equates to talent is delusional.
Finally! Someone with a critical ear, properly critiquing this garbage.
And before anyone starts in on me, I’ve been a Christian for over 20 years and love the Lord.
But this type of music is just tripe. It reminds me of the repetitive chants that you hear at the “after hours” meetings at Amway seminars. Sure, she has a relatively decent voice, but wow…this is unimaginative pandering to Christian audiences who’ve come to accept this type of substandard garbage.
It’s just chanting, over and over again. You see this horrible stuff in all of the modern “hip” churches now. Music leaders in ripped blue jeans with visible tattoos (to show that they too, have a past), singing repetitive chant songs filled with cliche’ lyrics.
All you have to do to write this drivel is play the piano or the guitar in 4/4 time and insert declarative phrases in the first person. (Ex: I will lift up my hands, I will bow down to you….You know my every plan, You know me you are the Truth)
There you go….someone feel free to use that….just sing it real slow, sway back and forth a bit, crease your brow, raise your hands up and ever so slightly let your voice get scratchy to show some level of pain….DONE….pretty soon, the sheeple will be praising you as the next big talent.
Again folks, I’m not anti-Christian. I’m as pro-Christian as they come. I guess that’s why I took 5 minutes out of my life to post this. This kind of talentless drivel will hurt Christianity in the long run.
You are an extremely hurt individual to say such ignorant and horrible things. I love Kari Jobe. I love the God she so humbly serves. She gives such an intimate and sweet worship experience and her love of Christ is evident. “She puts me in a truly terrible mood. I wanna to inflict pain on her. I can’t listen to her Where I Found You without wanting to hurt people. She is the devil’s spawn.” This statement puts more jewels on her crown!!!